Sunday, January 26, 2014

Five Months Later

How exactly do you come back from a five month hiatus where you all but disappeared off the face of the planet?

I'm not sure, but let me try.

First of all, let me be honest with you guys. This past summer, after graduating college and moving back in with my parents, I became pretty damn depressed. I've been battling a serious anxiety disorder for a while now and every once in a while it spirals into a deep depression. Being unemployed and out of school, I felt I had nothing worthy going on in my life. It was a scary period of time for me but I didn't open up about it to many people. I tried to deal with it by myself and it wasn't getting any better. Then after the EdenFantasys Fiasco, I became so exhausted and burnt out with reviewing, which was my one hobby that brought me some joy. All I wanted to do was lay in bed and watch TV or sleep all day long. I didn't have the energy to throw into my blog, which desperately needed it. Then Blogger announced that it wouldn't allow adult bloggers to post third party links to make commission, which frustrated me to no end. I became really discouraged. I started pulling away from the blogging community and my Eden friends towards the end of summer. In August, I got a job at a local sex store that prohibited me from continuing my blog. I used that as an excuse to completely stop all activity related to my blog without any explanation.

Now, five months later, I'm preparing to leave my job at the store. Working at the store has made me realize just how much I loved reviewing products. I missed it so much in the time I was working. Don't get me wrong, I loved my job. There's never a dull moment with my coworkers or customer base. I loved educating customers about the products and helping them find the perfect product. But I hated the sales aspect of it. In my job I was expected to be a sales person. I had to push the most expensive item and I had goals to meet. I'm not a bad sales person but it's just not something I love. It was so different from reviewing because I couldn't be objective and honest about some items I hated. For example, I really don't like System JO Agape. It's way too thin and runny. Blegh. My go-to lube is a thick gel. But, of course, Agape is the most expensive water-based lube and my favorite is the cheapest. I always push Agape but I hate telling customers that it's "the best water-based lube!" I can't be honest and tell them that it's runny and will get everywhere and will never ever stay where you want it to. Instead I tell them that it's our most popular lube for numerous reasons and I sell it like crazy. We can rarely keep it in stock. Reviewing allows me that freedom to talk about the product without worrying about meeting sales goals and improving my stats.

So why am I leaving my job? Well, first and foremost, in December I finally got married. My  husband and I have made plans for our future and have decided that we have many more educational opportunities in another part of the country. That's right, I'm moving across the country in hopes of attending a phenomenal graduate school. We're planning our move for mid-March! I'm excited about all of the new opportunities a new area will bring for me and my husband. However, I'm not excited by the lack of decent brick-and-mortar stores in the region (*grumble grumble*). Remembering that I loved reviewing and I sincerely missed the blogging community has motivated me to get back into blogging. Of course, I'm more or less starting over from scratch but I'm okay with that. I feel refreshed and excited to begin again. I plan on becoming self-hosted in the near future so I can expand my blogs potential. At the moment, I don't have the time, knowledge, or financial means to become self hosted so I plan on catching up on a few crucial reviews (*cough*Tantus affiliate reviews*cough*) in the mean time. Hopefully after the Valentine's Day busy season, when I will be working less, I can devote more time and energy to my blog.


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